f 7inchSlam.com: February 2007


Special Guest Alicja Trout from the Lost Sounds / River City Tan Lines!

We're very excited to bring you our second special guest cook from the 7inchslam kitchen. Our first guest cook, Warzone Womyn's Mike Bolam set the bar really high. So we knew we'd need a creative, delicious dish, and a really badass record to follow up our last effort. Luckily, we lined up a really badass special guest who didn't disappoint.

Alicja Trout has been doing big things since back in the day, and she's not slowing down anytime soon. This Memphis legend is best known for her work with Jay Reatard in the Lost Sounds. She's currently kicking ass with the River City Tanlines and Black Sunday. As if that wasn't enough, she's running one of the coolest record labels out there right now, Contaminated Records, which put out a couple Feelers records and a bunch of other stuff. If that's not enough punk rock scene cred for you, she's also a smokin' hot babe who can party anybody under the table.

But can she make coconut curry ginger soup?

Well, yeah, she can. Alicja brought over a couple bags of groceries from our local Asian grocery in the Strip District and got right to work. She fried up some battered tofu for the vegetarians (me) and defrosted some shrimp for the meateaters (everyone else). After that was taken care of, she sauted green and yellow onions in some olive oil for a couple minutes, until translucent. While we were drinking beers and talking records, Alicja threw a can of coconut milk and a can of vegetable broth into the pot with the onions. Into that went some big ole chunks of potatoes and carrots. Those have to cook on high for probably 20 minutes. This soup turned out really well because of all the different flavors mingling together. Our favorite Memphis rocker added a couple tablespoons of curry powder, chili paste, arrow root, and freshly grated ginger. There's no fuckin' around here, its sweet, its spicy, its everything you want, served up steaming hot.

After hanging out, being dudes, and generally not doing anything except smelling this soup on the stove, we were really excited to try it. It was really excellent. I dropped a couple chunks of tofu in mine, everybody else opted for shrimp. Either way, you had everything you want in a soup. Sweet, spicy, a little creamy, and loaded with vegetables, this was a whole meal in a bowl. I always knew Memphis folks knew how to eat, but this was nowhere near the fried chicken and mashed potatoes that are southern staples. Aside from the optional shrimp, this was entirely vegan, complete with egg replacer. When you're eating this good, you don't need meat, despite what terminal boredom might tell you. A+ for Alicja, that broad knows how to cook.

And she knows a thing or two about records too. We asked Alicja to bring over some jams to go along with her delicious soup, and she brought over some hot ones. She showed up with a Yum Yums record, which would've been cool but we never got around to it. As soon as she saw Steve's copy ofSlayer - Reign in Blood she jumped up and threw that on the turntable. How many chicks do you know that would play Reign in Blood? That's the record you played because you couldn't get any chicks. I don't even have to tell you about Reign in Blood because you already loved this record when you were 15 years old. Nothing pisses off your parents quite like Slayer, and your parents are probably still not too pleased with your underachieving ass, so you should still be rocking the hell out of this record. Don't be one of those dorks that used to like this record, be a badass rock n roller that still loves Slayer. If its good enough for Alicja, its good enough for you.

I'd like to thank Alicja for coming over here and cooking. She's a cool chick, she's in some awesome bands, and she's put out some great records. So buy her merch and go see her band, they're on tour right now. Alicja was a great special guest and everyone involved appreciated her efforts very much. Thanks!

We're always looking for other guests to come cook food, play records, and get drunk with us. If that sounds like something you want to do, let us know!

-Posted by John.

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Love Songs For the Unloved

So another Valentine's Day is upon us. One more day to see every 22-35 year-old lady get flowers at work, watch couples stroll arm-in-arm down Carson Street, and sit alone in my apartment braving black metal-caliber weather and wishing the entire human race would get exterminated in some extra-"grimm" fashion (note the "extreme Nordic Deathcrush" spelling).

My neighborhood looks like this:

Pretty shitty, I'd say. No one's plowing the roads, I can't ride my bike, and no one is leaving their house; so there I was sitting around doing nothing on Valentine's Day because I have no woman to begin with, which I figured would happen anyways. So since I had nothing to do, I figured I'd spend some time with my records by myself. I'd say on Valentine's Day, most people would be running around with their significant other boring the shit out of me at a restaurant by talking about what's happening at work/school or who's pregnant or who's getting married. Fuck you! I've got better things to do. First off, I'd discuss the three releases I got sent to me here at 7-Inch Slam HQ.

Here we have the Black and Whites two singles on Shattered and Douchemaster (along with a great cassingle on Hiss Lab, which I originally assumed was assembled by the band themselves). These were sent to me by B&W's singer/songwriter Talbot Adams of Oxford, MS. He's the brains of the operation and a fan of ours (yeah!) who's really shocked the underground Rn'R community with how cool these records are. Imagine the "No Place Fast"-era Real Kids meshed together with a little tougher guitar chops and Southern boogie and some super-clean vocals. Talbot has a knack for penning a catchy tune, and dips into his former Jenny Jeans songbook for gems like "Bad Expectations". The tunes were right on for how I was feeling at this point in the evening: bouncy, full of hooks, and with some slightly subversive lyrics that have a little bite to them but could still get you laid by the end of the night. You never know. "Fucked Up Heart" is the great punker here with a little jangle on the guitar and plenty of tambourine to keep you shaking.

These guys and girl (that fine lady Twinkle Van Winkle is credited on playing on a track as well) have crafted two great 45's and I assume the sky is the limit for when they record an LP. Just one suggestion to the B&W's, the packaging for the cassingle is the shit and really sets these apart, but the 7" covers leave a little something to be desired. However, Talbot was nice enough to send me the Douchemaster colored vinyl limited to 75 and that record looks out of this world. One more tip: PUT THE SONG "CIGARETTES AND CONTROL FREAKS" ON YOUR NEXT RECORD! It's the best and most people haven't even heard it since it isn't included here! The Black and Whites are the band you need when you're either loving or leaving. If you're in a bar and some wack bullshit dipshit DJ/cop drops one of the B&W's tunes on their iPod, go ask the cute girl you saw sitting alone to dance. It's probably the best chance to do it and this is the best soundtrack you can ask for before you smoke dope in the bathroom and puke after making out with her. I don't think I can pay it a higher compliment than that.

But when you're alone and the shittiness of the world sweeps over you and you can't handle your anger any longer, there's something else you need:


Remember when you listened to Funhouse and thought "Wow, no record is this raw and this cool"? Remember when you listened to droning, crushing, vile music? Remember when you got so fucked up you couldn't get off the floor because you were melting into the carpet? The Brainbombs helped get you and I there. They may be done now (who knows, though, there have been multiple break-ups since the band began in 1987). They just released a "final" 7" EP on Portland's Anthem Records in a scant pressing quantity of 377. The only other Brainbombs record I've been able to procure without dropping 30+ dollars is the Ken Rock Records' "The Grinder" EP. There's not much to say to describe the Brainbombs. They include members of Swedish bands like Totalitar, which makes no fucking sense since one of the repeated lines here is: "I was born of a whore/I sucked his cock/Stinking memory". The Brainbombs might be the most scuzzy, acid-drenched, hate-filled group of fucking Swede pricks like myself pummelling their guitars and droning out deadpan vocals about slicing open hookers and murdering sexual conquests ever.

I have nothing. But I do have the Brainbombs. Anyone who wants to make a trade for or sell me the "Obey" and "Genius and Brutality" LP's, please give me a buzz on Myspace. Being alone is never the same after you've been alone with the Brainbombs.

I know what you're saying: "Where's the food, dick? I'm not a punk. I'm a cop."

Well, once I was good and lit up and pissed, I debated what I was going to make to eat. We had plenty of food since we had bought groceries that day and everyone was gone except me, so I decided to make something big and dumb and stupid, because what else do I have to lose?

I started off with some smoked sausages. I boiled these in beer, then broiled them. My toppings were chopped onion, garlic, tomato, feta cheese, and Buffalo sauce. Since I was taking risks, I was hoping this worked out alright. To my surprise, the sausages were excellent. If only I would have had some bleu cheese, but what can you do?

One the side I had a few other interesting ideas. I'm a fancy guy, I can cook, but I love shitty food, too. That's part of the reason this site exists on the web. So why not throw some trashy fare into the mix? That's where Tina's Frozen Burritos come into play. While many people would gladly say "Oh, well, I can get those for two bucks down in Hip Neighborhood #1 with so many different good gourmet toppings". Well, fuck you, you queen. I've got limited time and even less patience to watch a bunch of limpwrists strutting around in track jackets and beards pretending not to be rich and white. I want a dumb fucking beef and bean burrito with some Tapatio hot sauce that cost 50 cents and nothing else. So I made that in our toaster oven (we don't have a microwave and I don't miss having one) and put it on the side.

Then I had some broccoli cheese couscous that I thought would really liven up the mix. See? Gettin' fancy again. I'm worth your time, ladies. This stuff is the best. I could eat it everyday. My final side dish was some steamed green beans and edamame. You know why? Because you can blow your fucking gullet out 24 hours a day and go back to being a fat kid like I was, or you can actually have a working colon and maybe try to get some girls next year. I'm hoping I'm not dead from anger by then so I can actually give it a go. So enjoy the meal and just remember, FUCK VALENTINE'S DAY AND FUCK THE HAPPY COUPLES. You've got records and a full stomach and that's better than eating at Boston Market alone on Thanksgiving, I guess. Later!

PS: Thanks to Talbot for being a great dude and sending some stuff to us. Bands, follow his lead! Go check out The Black and Whites and tell him we sent you! Also, send Twinkle Van Winkle to me!

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Havin' a Laugh, Havin' a Go, Havin' a Scotch Egg

Its been said for centuries, America is the melting pot of the rest of the world. We've incorporated the tired, the hungry, and the poor from all across the globe, and they've all brought a little bit of their culture with them. The French gave us the Statue of Liberty, the Polish gave us pierogies, and the Germans basicly just gave us a hard time. But before any of that, one of the first groups of immigrants to inhabit America were the English. What did they give us? Well, not much, actually.

The Pilgrims came here to escape religious oppression, and found the freedom to oppress everyone else. After a few hundred years and two British invasions, one by the British army and the other by the Beatles, England and America became BFF's again. The Ramones played shows in London, and Sid and Nancy shot heroin in New York. However, by this time, America had taken a clear leadership role on the world stage, and England assumed the role of our gay cousin who everyone laughs at behind his back. This is probably because England hasn't ever cooked anything good. Remember Arthur Treacher's Fish 'n' Chips in the Food Court. That shit sucked. That was what your mom ate while you slammed Taco Bell. The English never cooked anything worth a damn. At least that's what I thought until I discovered scotch eggs.

A scotch egg is a hard boiled egg, wrapped in sausage, then breaded and deep fried. It also has nothing to do with Scotland. This is British food through and through. They are popular in British pubs, on picnics, and in the break room on BBC's "The Office." One of our favorite South Side hangouts, Piper's Pub, serves up a mean scotch egg, best enjoyed with a McEwans IPA. However, their scotch eggs are made with real sausage, which a hippy ass vegetarian like me can't eat. So I made my own.

I used four hard boiled eggs, one package of Gimme Lean Meat-Free Fat-Free sausage, a beaten egg, breadcrumbs, and some chopped onion and minced garlic. Chill the hard boiled eggs for a couple hours, I went to happy hour while they refrigerated, I suggest you do the same. Mix the onion and garlic into the sausage with your hands, then wrap a layer of sausage around each boiled egg. Roll the sausage covered egg in the beaten egg, coating the whole thing. Then roll that around in a bowl of breadcrumbs. Repeat for each boiled egg. This will all be worth it, trust me. After you get all your eggs taken care of, drop them in about two inches of hot vegetable oil. After a few minutes of deep frying you'll be ready slam the best food those limey British bastards ever created.

These scotch eggs turned out wonderfully. I've never had the real meat version, but it couldn't be any better than this. This is a boiled egg wrapped in sausage and deep fried for Christ's sake! How could that not be everything you've ever wanted alongside a pint or three? If you could eat scotch eggs while watching pornography you'd never have to leave your crappy apartment.

So what else did the British give us? The Clash? Overrated. The Sex Pistols? Overrated. Skrewdriver? Get real. One of the few British bands that I actually like was started by an Irish kid who hated England -- the Nips. Before the Pogues ever became the best Irish punk band, Shane MacGowan and his old band, the Nipple Erectors, tore the British punk scene apart. If you haven't seen the Shane DVD, you really should see it. If you have seen it, then you already know a couple really hot Nips jams, and their Tits of Soho LP has plenty more where those came from. The Nips play traditional British punk like you'd expect, but you'll also hear plenty of fun, poppy influences and even some tasty harmonica licks. Johnny Rotten never could have pulled this off. And even after most of the '77 punks either grew up or died off, Shane MacGowan refused to do either, and he ended up writing some of the best songs that are probably already on your record shelf. So if you're a Pogues fan, and you damn well should be, check out the Nips.

- Posted by John.

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Today's Special Guest: Doug Mosurock!

Doug Mosurock is a Pittsburgh ex-pat and has been a fan of 7-Inch Slam since our inception last year, and has graciously volunteered to take time out of his busy schedule of blogging, reviewing, DJ'ing, cooking, and whatever the hell else people do in NYC to grace our humble site with a mountain of a meal. We'll all be back later this week, but Doug has certainly impressed us with this entry and we'll hope to see him next time he graces our humbles city. Thanks, Doug!


Pittsburgh and NYC are both pretty damn far from North Carolina and its BBQ’in ways. Hell, it’s impossible to find a decent chunk of non-contaminated soil up here in which to dig a proper pit for BBQ, much less the space and property to cook outdoors. Necessity has taken the need for satisfying, slow-cooked meats inside the oven. That’s just how it is. And truthfully, the results are pretty goddamn good. So here I present to you my recipe for Oven-Roasted Pulled Pork.

For a house full of carnivores, there’s nothing like making pulled pork. It’s cheap to make, given how much food it yields, and your guests will be very stoked on the end product, so if you need to serve a large crew (like I did on Super Bowl Sunday), it’s a lock. The moist, fork-tender meat shreds like a phone book in the hands of a gorilla. The decadent preparation lets you know you’re in for something good. The burnt, highly-spiced crust that forms on the outside (known by BBQ aficionados as “brownies” or “burnt ends”), torn up and mixed in with the meat, makes it all the more perfect. Even better, there’s no one right way to season and serve this dish. I like thick, tomato-based BBQ sauces with a lot of heat. Others swear by Carolina-style vinegar sauces; still others eat it plain. Some mix the sauce in all at once, while others do it on the side. Some throw it on a bun with slaw and others just eat it from a plate, all sauced up. My recipe here (which I cribbed from a bunch of different online suggestions, and made my own) is good in that you can do what you like to the pork once it’s done cooking, and the preparation gives you a well-flavored meat no matter how you wish to serve it.

One thing that pork BBQ does take a lot of is time and effort. It’s not gonna cook itself. To that end, it needs some slightly skilled prep work and TLC to get it where you are ready to cook it. And cooking it takes a long, long time; longer than most are willing to spend. However, take heart in the fact that every time you open the oven to check on it, people are gonna notice. The smell of heavenly, seasoned BBQ will linger in your home or apartment building for a week or so. And every time you smell it, you’re gonna want it again. But with great power comes great responsibility, so it’s recommended that you have some experience working with the oven, and enough knife skills to be able to prep this thing the way it needs to be treated. Above all, you need patience.

OK, so here’s how we start. First of all, you need a pork butt. This is also known as a Boston butt, or a pork picnic. Basically it’s the butt of a pig’s front shoulder, anchored by the animal’s shoulder blade (the big bone inside). You can get these fresh and vacuum-packed at most butcher shops or supermarkets, and it’s usually cheap, rarely more than $2 a pound. Might I suggest you get in good with your local butcher. Those guys get a lot of joy out of selling you awesome cuts of meat. Your pork butt will be between 8 and 12 pounds, untrimmed. Try and see if you can buy the bulk shoulders that the store gets, and then trims down for sale. Most butchers will be glad to accommodate this request. A pork shoulder will work in a pinch, but the butt is the best cut to cook this with, so look around for one. If you’re cooking for a lot of people, best to get two, as I’ve done here.

Here’s a list of preparatory ingredients:
• A bottle of cheap olive oil
• A good 6 ozs. or more of dry BBQ rub per butt. There are many out there for sale, or you can make your own. In NYC, I rely on a storebought brand, but you can create one out of chili powder, black and Cayenne pepper, ground red chiles, garlic powder, onion powder, cumin, sea salt, Turbinado sugar, a little oregano, and just a pinch of ground star anise, nutmeg, and other savories to help sustain the flavors. But really, this is your call. Do some research, buy a pre-made mix, or doctor one up. Just keep those basic ingredients in mind – you need salt, sweetness, and heat to make a BBQ rub work, and the other spices to help those flavors hold longer. But the base should be all chili powder, cumin, sugar, salt, and pepper – the granular, sandy, savory spices. Experiment until you get one you like, and then make a lot of it.

• A 2-liter of Coca-Cola or Dr. Pepper (regular, not diet)
• Apple juice
• Apple vinegar
• Cheap yellow picnic mustard (this is optional, and I don’t use it, but some do)
• Liquid smoke (optional – use sparingly, if at all!)
• Cheap hamburger buns

For kitchen implements, you will need:
• A good set of sharp carving knives, and the skill and common sense to use them
• A big metal roasting pan
• Aluminum foil
• Plastic wrap
• A V-rack for each roast you’re making
• A meat thermometer
• A plastic spray bottle
• A big serving dish into which you’ll shred the finished product

You’re also gonna need about three days altogether to prep and cook this thing. For a Sunday football kickoff, I started working on these the Thursday night before.

OK, here’s what’s up. Get out your cutting block and sharpen up your knife. Take the pork butt out of its package and rinse it with warm water under the sink. Then move it over to your cutting surface, making sure it’s all cleaned off before you start. If it’s a bulk, untrimmed piece like I suggest, you’re going to see one surface side of the meat that’s all fat.

It’s your job to flense this, cutting away as much fat as you possibly can from the exterior of the meat. You may end up hacking off layers of meat along with the fat. This is OK. Any of this meat you’re saving is just going to make the cleanup and shredding that much more greasy and difficult. Since this is going to cook slowly for a long time at a low temperature, you want to help out the process as much as you can. And, since you’re marinating it as well, you want marinade contact with the meat, not the fat. Connective tissues, arteries, and fat have got to go, so remove as much as you can. I figure I cut off about a half pound of disgusting flab off each of these roasts. Turn it over and trim more. Remember that the meat is going to be well-marbled, and you won’t get all of it, but think about where this part of the pig is, and why the fat is distributed the way it is there. You don’t want to eat that. Get it out. (If you’re not so good with a knife, I would suggest you let the butcher take care of it for you).

Once you’re done cutting, it’s time to put your pork inside a serving dish, casserole, large glass bowl, or something big and solid enough that can withstand the marination process. I don’t recommend plastic here, though if you have a HUGE Zip-Loc freezer bag, that would work.

Once the pork’s in whatever container you’re marinating it in, slather it generously with the olive oil, on both sides. You want this thing to be slippery with oil. This stuff helps the rub to stick to the meat, and will lube up the outside enough to get a good burn going once the meat starts to cook.

At this point, some like to slather the pork even further with yellow mustard. This is sort of a cheat, but it will provide a significant crust to the pork once it’s roasted. I don’t do this, but some do. Give it a shot to see if you like it sometime.

OK, all done? Now, take your rub, and with clean hands, firmly massage the rub into the pork, going for full coverage. You’re going to end up with this oily rub slop, which is great – rub that deep down into the meat, covering every exposed surface.

Now, pour on the Coke (or the Dr. Pepper, whichever you chose). You’re going to use enough to let a significant part of the roast soak it all in. Expect fizzing, as the carbonation will react with the sugars in your rub. This is cool. You know how Coke will dissolve a tooth, or take the rust off chrome? Same principal is in effect here: the acid in the Coke will help to tenderize the meat, and the remaining cola syrup will soak in another subtle layer of flavoring to what you’ve already done. Don’t drown the pork in the Coke; use enough so that the bottom is submerged in it, though. It’s going to go flat, so don’t worry about putting more in.

All set? Okay, take the plastic wrap and loosely cover the pork, then the dish itself, and stick it in your fridge. This will help to keep the moisture in as the pork marinates. If you’re using the Zip-Loc bag method, this step is not necessary.

I have marinated the pork for this recipe for as little as six hours, and as many as two days. I think you can find a happy medium with either, but the longer you let them soak, the more tender the meat will turn out. This batch you’re seeing is probably the best I ever made, and it marinated for two whole days. Let ‘em soak, keep ‘em covered or sealed, and don’t disturb them until it’s time to cook.

Alright. Now the day (and night) is upon us. Put the oven rack in the bottom of the oven, and set the oven for 250 degrees. That’s low heat, and that’s just fine. Nobody said this was gonna be fast. Take your roasting pan and line that thing with aluminum foil. The nightmare of cleaning pork grease is not yet upon you, and this preventative measure will make your life a LOT easier once this thing is done cooking, so line it thoroughly with good, even coverage, and try not to leave any surfaces exposed. It’s easier to clean up the oil this thing will drip than the grease the roasting will bring out of it.

At this time, you’ll want to set a V-rack in the pan. The rack is built to elevate your meat out of the pan, and let the grease and drippings run out of it.

Take the pork out of the fridge and discard the marinade. Let the pork sit, covered, out on the countertop for a good 15-20 minutes, in order for it to get back to near room temp and its juices redistributed throughout the meat. When you’re ready, place the pork on the rack and put the whole pan into the oven.

Pork shoulder cooks at about 2 hours per pound at this temperature. Why? This is slow cooking. This cut of meat has the tendency to dry out really damn quickly. All of our steps up until now have been done to prevent the meat from drying, while suffusing it with BBQ flavor. During the cooking process, it’s pretty crucial that this stays a concern. The slow cooking will encourage the fat and connective tissues to break down and drip out of the pork, allowing the tender meat to remain.

To that end, what you’re going to do now is make a mop – a solution that you’ll use to keep the meat moist at certain intervals while it cooks. In the spray bottle, mix up 1 part olive oil to 2 parts apple vinegar, 2 parts apple juice, and 2 parts Coke. Close up the bottle and leave it sit out. You’ll need to shake it up when you’re about to use it, but that’s not gonna be for a while.

For the first six hours, DO NOT open the oven. Let the meat cook undisturbed. Find a way to stay awake while this thing cooks up, or have a friend nearby so you can nap in shifts if need be. After the first six hours, pull the pan out and spray down the pork thoroughly with the mop. It is critical that you do not allow the meat to dry out. From there on, you can open it up every 2 hours and spray it down, or as you deem necessary.

Since undercooked pork can make you sick, the temperature of the finished product is a pretty big concern. It should register at about 180 degrees Fahrenheit on the meat thermometer – make sure you don’t hit a bone, or any fat, but rather the meat itself when you insert the thermometer for a reading. Expect up to 16 hours of cooking for an 8 lb. roast, and more if the roast is bigger, but keep checking it in the later stages for moisture, temperature, and consistency. If you can stick a fork in the meat and twist it, and the meat strands break apart loose (kinda like spaghetti), it’s on the done side of things. Roast, mop, check. You’ll know when it’s ready.

And when it is ready, it’s time to pull. Take the meat out and off the V-rack (this is tricky, as it’s been sitting on there for the better part of a day). Put it in a serving dish or casserole and cover it with aluminum foil on the countertop, letting it sit for an hour or so until it cools a bit. Then, using your CLEAN hands or a couple of big forks, start ripping this sucker apart.

If you see any pockets of fat, just separate and discard them.

Remove the bone and discard that, too. You’ll end up with enough shredded pork for 6-8 people per roast (with seconds), and leftovers for days.

To serve, pile pork onto a hamburger bun, and apply sauce as desired. Serve with vinegar cole slaw and other BBQ-appropriate sides. Beer or a pop would be a nice beverage to compliment this with.

I served this at my Super Bowl party. No one was left disappointed, and though I was too blissed out on how good this pork ended up to take pictures of people eating, I think you can see in everyone’s eyes here how good it was. They all ate it, and look how stoked they are.

If you have a charcoal grill, this is a great thing to do outside, but I’ve never attempted it. Read up on BBQ techniques in books and online for more clues if you wanna try.

Anyway, a soundtrack for this would be more of a playlist, but the record I rocked the hardest during the cooking period and serving was a 1972 album by a British rock band called Jerusalem. It’s heavy-as-balls, dumb-as-dirt hard rock, produced by Deep Purple’s Ian Gillan when such a thing mattered. It’s not hard to imagine these guys handling barbaric, Flintstone-sized cuts of meat.

Anyway, that’s how it’s done. I’ll see yinz in Pittsburgh soon.

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