f 7inchSlam.com: August 2006


Breakfast With the Family (but way better than when you were a kid)

Remember when you were a little kid living with your parents? It was the worst. Sunday mornings for me meant that I got woken up at 7, dragged to church at 8, then breakfast at 10. The food was always good, but waking up early and going to church were always huge downers. And even worse, there were never any good records playing on any of those days.

So even though today isn't a Sunday, when my brother called me and said he had time to kill between classes, I decided we were gonna do the family breakfast the way it was meant to be done: no church, no parents, but plenty of good food and of course, great records.

My brother claimed to be somewhat of an expert on making scrambled eggs. Of course, any idiot can make scrambled eggs, but he did them up right. Add a little milk, and don't forget to raid your spice rack. We've learned a long time ago that every food tastes better with melted cheese on it, so we threw in some shredded mozz. This is why you didn't become vegan.

You can't just scramble a couple eggs and call it a meal, so while Matt took care of the eggs, I went to work on some homefries. Slice 'em up small so they get brown and crispy in the pan. Turn down the heat and toss in whatever you'd like. I threw in an onion for sweetness, a red pepper for spiciness, and a couple cloves of chopped garlic. If you aren't cooking with garlic, you really aren't cooking at all.

I'm not going to tell you how to make toast or slice up an apple, but you'll need to do both. Go to McDonald's if all you want are fat and empty carbs, I want a well rounded breakfast, with whole grains where available. Everything turned out really well. The eggs were fluffy without being too wet. The homefries were crispy with a nice kick from the red pepper. The toast was, well, it was just toast.

This breakfast was every bit as good as any breakfast I've ever eaten with my family on a Sunday morning in the early 90's, but they never played any bands that Greg Oblivian produced. My brother and I had a good looking breakfast in front of us, and we needed something easy going to listen to. I put on the Deadly Snakes second effort I'm Not Your Soldier Anymore. I know how great Porcella is, but let's not forget that that isn't their only record. They've released some hot ones before they ever put out that classic, and I'm Not Your Soldier Anymore is definetly one of them. This record is a rock n roller, but still mellow enough that you can eat breakfast and talk about life. You guys already know that the Reigning Sound does a great version of "West Texas Sound", but so do the Deadly Snakes. So if you've only recently gotten into the Deadly Snakes by hearing Porcella, check out some of their older stuff, you won't be disappointed.

After you've given this record a few listens, make sure that you take care of your younger siblings. Its okay to tell your parents to slag off, but you've gotta help out your brothers and sisters. If you aren't gonna clue them in on how to eat good food, or corrupt them with rock n roll, or tell them how to get chicks, who's gonna?

Posted by
- ,John

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PP + SP = Gettin' Retarded

I'm glad that I got clued into the fact that McKees Rocks has something more to offer than methed-out hussies that compete for horny dude dollars and post-industrial gloom. It's got some pretty good pierogies smothered in butter and onions (the kielbasa and stuffed cabbage weren't half bad either)...

It only costs $5.95 to get to hunky nirvana. Pierogies Plus is mostly a carry out joint that claims to have an "outdoor patio". This "outdoor patio" phenomena was missing in action on the day we pulled up, so we scarfed hungry bastard style* on the trunk of the car. Check the menu for Special Order Pierogies, the potato and bacon pierogies sound unstoppable.

Now that your guts are stuffed with kielbasa, pierogies and maybe a Polish hand grenade you can contemplate getting retarded. I mean the GOOD RETARDED like hot dog eating contests and not the BAD RETARDED like spending too much free time contemplating the genesis of Wonder Man and his mullet in back issues of the West Coast Avengers. Sneaky Pinks = GOOD RETARDED! Wonder Man = BAD RETARDED!

For your studies:

Posted by HONE
*Hungry Bastard Style is the only Deadly Kung Fu style I can fully endorse.

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Welcome to Pittsburgh, let's eat!

I've lived in Pittsburgh my entire life. We're a city of 300,000 that has been going downhill since the mid 70's. But even though our steel mills closed, we've still got things going for us. We've got such great universities and hospitals that George Bush calls us "knowledge town." Anti-Flag calls our city home, our city calls Anti-Flag idiots.

Our city knows how to eat. We've got hundreds of bars and restaraunts in my South Side neighborhood alone. One of those restaraunts is a Pittsburgh institution - Primanti Brothers. They've been serving up sandwiches, topped with fries and cole slaw, for as long as I can remember. Nothing tops off a night out like a cheap, messy sandwich that I can stumble home from after I finish it.

But I don't have a job, and I didn't go out drinking today. I don't really go anywhere. So I'm gonna make this sandwich myself, with my records playing in the background, in my city.

I'm gonna start off by heating up more than a little oil in a pan. Slice up some potatoes and drop them in. I could've gotten some Ore Ida french fries and taken the easy way out, but for once in my life, I'm not gonna take the easy way out. Fry up the potatoes and be a punk rocker who doesn't count calories. Keep the fries moving and slice up some good italian bread, get some cole slaw out of your fridge, and cut a few tomato slices.

This sandwich is usually consumed by drunken idiots who want meat and grease. I'm fine with grease, but I haven't eaten meat in a couple years, so I'll make this one with cheese. I threw on some provolone, pepper jack, and good ole American cheese. Layer those on the bread, then put your homemade fries on top of that. Spread cole slaw on top of the fries, and tomato slices on top of that. Sauteed onion is optional, but I went for it anyway. As you can see, this is a giant sandwich, and its gonna be messy.

This is a meal for a guy. Don't tell your girlfriend you ate this sandwich. Don't even tell her you read about it on the internet. You don't even have a girlfriend anyway. So to hell with the ladies, we're eating guy food right now. And I needed to listen to "guy records" to properly indulge myself.

Marvin Gaye is one of my all time top favorite guys. This guy does it all. He recorded great pop songs, hot soul jams, and between the sheets classics. We're all punks around here, and even though Marvin never wrote punk songs, we'd get along with him just fine. This guy lived in a van doing blow every day in Hawaii. He sang "Let's Get It On" to a 16 year old girl, then married her (he was in his 30's at the time). Marvin bought his father a gun "for protection," and we all know how that ended up. Yep, Marvin Gaye is punk as fuck. Your parents played his records and had filthy sex every day when they were your age. Your parents were probably a lot cooler than you will ever be.

If Marvin Gaye were alive I'd bring him to Pittsburgh. We'd slam giant, silly sandwiches, then go get laid by girls that would never want anything to do with filthy, young, punk rockers like myself.

Pittsburgh is the city of champions. We win Super Bowls and eat french fries on sandwiches. You'd love it here.

Posted by:
- John

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Lazy Sunday

The Lazy Sunday is an important tenet of my apartment. After waking up early, you always have a nice relaxing day ahead of you filled with a leisurely brunch, possibly a Steelers game, and definitely 100% relaxation. Today John-Boy and I decided to cook our own breakfast sandwiches with vegetarian sausage (I always have to defer in this case, since I live with two vegetarians), egg, and cheese. And I must say, this beat any fast-food or convenience store breakfast sandwich you could find.

Starting with some homemade biscuits, we then did up some great vegetarian sausage and some eggs (I did no yolks, John-Boy took them in his). This was a remarkably simple thing to make, and honestly couldn't have tasted better. It was greasy with eggs and cheese, so not having real sausage was no big deal this time. I would assume a real version is coming in the future.

We did a waffle apiece alongside it to counter the protein in the sandwich, unfortunately we didn't have any fresh fruit this time, but I expect that change when the Farmer's Market rolls into the South Side on Tuesday.

Here's a shot:

Even though this blog is dedicated to food and records, our first music selection is actually a DVD. We were able to check out the Minutmen documentary We Jam Econo: The Story of The Minutemen. The Minutemen are one of the bands that the old guys who eventually move onto alt-country in their 40's talk about as ruling their lives in '81 on a triple bill with Black Flag and Saccharine Trust. It turns out these guys actually do know something other than which wine you bring to your professor's grad school slumber party.

The filmmakers have created an in-depth look at this band, who hold the eternal spot as SST #2 and provided the perfect follow-up to Black Flag's Nervous Breakdown EP. The wiry, frenetic guitar of D. Boon and nimble bass-playing of Mike Watt combine together with George Hurley's STUNNING drumwork to create the most political yet personal, funky yet robotic, and all-around combination of what makes weirdo rock n' roll so interesting in the first place. The band had everything: the songs, the artwork, and maybe even answers.

Some of the interviews drag and there are only so many times someone can repeat "Yeah.... D. Boon was a great big fat guy who played a trebly guitar, maaaan..." And I don't need Flea and Rollins telling me about a band that was influenced by an amalgam of greats: Wire, 70's punk, CCR, Blue Cheer, and many, many more. But this is worth a watch and worth a trip to the SST website (as linked above) to pick up their stellar records.

We sincerely hope you enjoy this blog and feel free to drop us a line or leave us a comment.

*Posted by Steve-O

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Welcome eaters and record nerds

Welcome to 7-Inch Slam, a blog for fans of food and music. We're three guys from Pittsburgh who have set out to cook, order, and destroy all the great food that can be found and the records you should be listening to while you're doing it. We'll set out to introduce ourselves soon and introduce you to some of our favorite slams and records.