f 7inchSlam.com: It's your special day, fancy boy.


It's your special day, fancy boy.

You know, anyone who knows me knows I love myself. But life gets you down sometimes. There's not much you can do about it. Maybe it's your job you hate, or the girlfriend you don't have, or the money that disappears from the bank as soon as it shows up. Well, that's life. Suck it up. That's what I do as best I can. And I've learned a special trick to share with all you readers that will generally help you through the trying times in your life: The Special Day.

Special Agent Dale Cooper of Twin Peaks once said: "Harry, everyday, once a day, give yourself a present. Could be a fresh new shirt from the men's store, a catnap in your office, or a scalding hot cup of coffee." He's right. But I have enough shirts, only take naps when I've fallen asleep after schlogging, and I will only drink truly great coffee. However, I can treat myself with the best of them on my very own Special Day.

On this particular early morning, the infamous Ciggy and I suited up on our bikes to head down to Pittsburgh's Strip District. The Strip is where you can find Pittsburgh's cheapest and finest gourmet and ethnic foods. You want bread? They have it. Sausage? Of course. Produce? Come on... I can't do this all day. Anyways, the weather was gorgeous and we were able to sample Pittsburgh's finest espresso at La Prima Espresso. Not only do you get a great double espresso for a measly two bucks, but you can soak in the Italian ambience, hustle and bustle of the city, and listen to badass 70 year old guys talk about the old days.

We got the chance to stop at the Parma Sausage Company on Penn Avenue first, where I purchased some of the best sausage I have ever had. They had two kinds I had my eye on: the Garlic Sausage and the Hot & Spicy Sicilian. From there we headed down the street, where naturally we had to stop at the Sunseri Bros. Pennsylvania Macaroni Company; also known as the greatest food store in the history of the world.

Despite the long wait in line at the cheese section, we made out of there with tons of food at bargain basement prices. After another espresso, we were on our way home, where the true awesomeness would begin. Remember folks, both those stores need your support, order online!

I soon began crafting what would become the best sandwich I have ever made for myself. But first, John-Boy and Big Suzz and I needed some appetizers while I was taking care of business in the kitchen. I chose to start doing up a loaf of Mancini's Pesto Bread. I chopped up an entire loaf and did some finger sizes for us:

So after that, I whipped up a quick bowl of fresh tomatoes with a little oil and some onions and garlic to add to the plate. Then I sliced up some of Penn Mac's stellar fresh mozzarella. Put it all together and serve it to yourself and you'll wonder why you have the same shitty friends who wouldn't do this for you on your special day.

So after this, I decided to take it to the next level, as I am apt to do. In went the garlic sausages into the can of Pabst, up went the food boners, and then things got a little crazy.

How did I ever end up with THIS?

After boiling the sausages, I then broiled them till they were plump and dripping in the oven. Slice them in half, throw them on some Mancini bread, toss on your tomatoes, a little more oil, more of your mozz, some onions and garlic, and keep the whole thing in the oven for about five minutes. Even fresh mozz melts down well (which some disagree with), so this sandwich will be sloppy yet stay together. Top it all off with some Sriracha and that's it. Life's over. Your special day is almost complete.

After destroying this, we threw on some jams and I picked 'em, of course. That is tantamount to having your Special Day. And on your Special Day, you can listen to your favorite band no matter how sick anyone is of them. You could listen to the worst GG or Skrewdriver records and it's cool, man. I chose an old favorite that I feel does not get enough respect and adulation from the punk public in general, especially when coming from the best band of all time. The Ramones It's Alive double LP (English pressing).

I mean, hopefully you already subscribe to the theory that anyone who doesn't like the Ramones is not someone you can trust. But with this live album (their fifth if you count it), the Brudders were firing on all cylinders on a snowy London New Year's Ever. This record contains all the hits, all played by the original lineup, everything careens by you at a tempo the Ramones would perfect and eventually surpass in what I like to call "The Dark Years". Sadly, this record is tough to find on vinyl, but I was lucky to score a used copy at Pittsburgh's best punk record store Brave New World for ten bucks a few years back. You can easily grab the CD, and there's always some floating around eGay.

But I don't think you need a long explanation from me. Just get that record, get this food, make this sandwich, drink till you fall down, and just remember the words of our Special Agent. My favorite band's best record, some beers, some cigs... I'm kickin' ass. Anyone can do it. You too can be a fancy-boy and maximize the life you lead right now. If I can do it, I don't think you'll have too much of a problem. Remember, be nice to me! It's my Special Day! Till next time...

*Posted by Steve-O

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Anonymous Pat said...

I am so mad at you for literally snatching that record out of my hands at Brave New World.

1:02 PM  
Blogger Steve-O said...


1:12 PM  
Blogger Bone said...

quality post Rog!

2:01 PM  
Blogger Steve said...

i wish i had that record....but im still glad pat didnt get your copy

2:38 PM  
Blogger Baby Pop said...

With sriracha, every day is a special day. I just emailed them yesterday!

4:01 PM  
Blogger girl said...

quit making me want to move to pittsburgh.

12:00 PM  
Blogger Steve-O said...

Tough luck, Pittsburgh kicks ass!

12:16 PM  

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