f 7inchSlam.com: What are they feeding those kids in Cleveland? Definetly not anything this good.

9.29.2006

What are they feeding those kids in Cleveland? Definetly not anything this good.

When you live in Pittsburgh like I do, you get bummed about it from time to time. Our economy sucks, our football team is 1-2, and you can't even buy booze in a gas station. Our music scene has some gems, but there's always some dork on the internet who's gonna post about how it sucks. Every now and then, Pittsburghers get bummed about being from Pittsburgh. So what do we do to cheer ourselves up?

Drive to Cleveland.

Pittsburgh is like that girl at the party who's not the best looking, but compared to her terrible little sister named Cleveland, she starts looking pretty damn good. So after a trip to Cleveland, I'm proud to sport my black and gold and put Heinz ketchup on absolutely everything. Even on our worst day, we're so much better than their best day. Here's why:

On my worst day, and I have a lot of them, I'll wake up at 10 even though I could've slept till noon. I'll stumble into the living room and watch Roseanne DVDs and be lazy. Eventually, I have to eat. On my worst day, I never know what to cook and it always ends up being veggie dogs and potatoes. I eat this meal a lot, its easy and doesn't require me to think very much. Plus I'll eat a veggie dog any chance I get. And, when this is what you make when you can't think of anything else, you're doing pretty well, because this is a great meal.

Start out by heating up some olive oil in a pan. Slice up a potato into thin slices. Fry 'em up. Let them go for ten or fifteen minutes, and don't forget to stir them up so they don't burn. Drop in some sliced onion, garlic, peppers, and whatever else you've got in the vegetable crisper. This is something that anybody can do, and everybody should do, but none of those yabbos in Cleveland ever will do.

After the potatoes are almost done, toss in a couple veggie dogs. Roll them around with the garlic and onions and let all the flavors meld together, while you toss a couple hot dog buns in the toaster oven. You also need a green vegetable to go with the potatoes and dogs, but I'll leave that up to you. Grab a plate and be happy that even when you can't think of anything to cook, you're still eating really, really well.

Even when you aren't imaginative enough to cook up new and exciting food, you still want delicious food, right? And when you're in the mood for a record but don't have anything new to play, you still want a hot record, right? The Black Lips are like veggie dogs and potatoes to me. I'll throw on the Black Lips a couple times a week, when I don't have any new or exciting records that I feel like experimenting with.

Last weekend I had the opportunity to go see the Black Lips for the second time. The only problem was that their show was in Cleveland. So I piled in a car with three other dudes, threw on some Reigning Sound, and talked about chicks. Before we knew it, we were at the Beachland Tavern, about to see one of our favorite bands. These In the Red rockers brought a fog machine, a strobe light, a bunch of hot jams, and a fairly new 7". The 3 track release was recorded at a party in their hometown of Atlanta, and sounds way better than a live record from a party should sound. The A side is clearly the better of the two, with their song "Oh Katrina". Opposite the catchy jam about a hurricane is a live version of "Sea of Blasphemy" from their Let It Bloom LP and a Link Wray cover that I already forgot. This is a hot record, and you should definetly pick it up. There's probably tons of them left, because none of the kids at the show in Cleveland cared about the Black Lips. The majority of their fans at the show made the drive from Pittsburgh, and the majority of their merch made the drive back to Pittsburgh.

If you live in Pittsburgh, its inevitable, you'll drive to Cleveland for a show. You'll see a great band, and you'll be the only one that cares. Then you'll sit at the bar and wonder why all these dorks are there to see some garbage like Be Your Own Pet. At least you can drive back to Pittsburgh, stop and get a few Sparks on the way, and make veggie dogs the next day. Life in Pittsburgh ain't so bad after all.

EDIT 12/13/06 -- Lil' Vinnie just posted the entire Black Lips Live at Rob's House set on Sendspace. Its the entire set, not just the songs on the 7". I have no idea how long this will be available, so grab it while you can!

-- John

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3 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

haha. yeah, cleveland kids can suck a big huge cock alot of times. especially when you're at a show that plasma for guns opens up and all thier gay artschool friends go. i wasn't at the show cause i suck and was lazy and didn't feel like riding to the east side. plus my friends band icup was playing thier first show for free at this crap bar two blocks down from my house. so that's where all the fun people where.
anyways if you can get over your hatred of cleveland, or actually, if you want to fuel it more- whatever band you guys are still doing should come play at the place i live, the tower. here's a link: http://www.myspace.com/toweroftreason
i'm gonna try to make it over there with pet monster for that main event show on the 13th. allright bye.

-tony from cleveland

7:22 PM  
Blogger John said...

come punch me in the face on october 13th!

1:39 AM  
Blogger Terrible1 said...

Hey ya homo I didn't make it out I have no idea why I think money may have been an issue but there are plenty of Cleveland kids that care there John-boy its just the east side and the beachland can be such a fuckin haul especially when you drink like we do word yo.

Ryan H

9:35 AM  

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